Today, I come out of the cannabis closet. Here's why.
The sudden spark of the necessity of my truth lies in one simple fact:
I need to stand for something.
I am- in today’s standards- a fairly average Bay Area mother. My partner and I live in a quaint 2-bedroom apartment where I raise our son full-time. He is a darling little one; six months old this Saturday with aspirations of crawling by then.
I am healthy. In fact, medically speaking I am as healthy as I could possibly be. I am young and I could definitely use more exercise. I have a college degree and am still trying to figure out what to do with it.
I also medicate daily; I smoke Cannabis regularly, and have done so for the latter half of my life.
Yeah, it's a part of me. I don't smoke to be lazy or non-attentive. I don't smoke to escape reality or because I have nothing better to do. I do smoke because I like to. I like the way Cannabis makes me feel. It seems to make me happy and calm and present and brilliant. I smoke Cannabis because it brings me to my center. Smoking Cannabis is my ritual, just as making my morning coffee. Only better.
I am a mother who truly loves and believes in Cannabis.
I am here to help shed the stigma associated with mothers [and women] using this plant and help bring accurate information about Cannabis and all it's capable of. Women and mothers who use Cannabis are not lazy. We are wonderful and progressive. Hey, we may even be more attentive to our children than you.
I know there are other women out there who enjoy this herb tremendously but are darkened and silenced by the outdated stigma associated with women and dare I say, mothers, who smoke weed.
We are out here, everywhere.
I need to stand for something because I am nothing without it; I'm currently struggling with postpartum depression.
I claim I am healthy, yes, but I do struggle with depression, anxiety, and on my worst days, apathy. I feel useless outside of my bringing up Baby. I feel useless to society. I often find myself staring off into some distant realm not thinking or feeling much at all. It's as if my spirit has been slowly pulled from my body in just one year.
I didn't intend to get pregnant.
Recently graduating with a bachelor's degree in nutrition and dietetics, I was fortunate enough to be given the opportunity to assist a well-respected dietitian in the fanciness of downtown San Francisco. I had everything set up for me to succeed in a similar direction as my boss, only I didn’t want it enough. Not yet, at least. I feel like I wasn't ready to become a dietitian and it took several months of self-reflection to come to this. I feel I needed more life experience if I want to help people become their better selves. So I took a break from my life and have my son. Only, it was never a break and it is still my life. Nonetheless, bearing him was the best decision I've ever made. He is my sunshine; my way of life and is paving the way for a bright future in this world.
I admit I don’t know many twenty-some-year-old moms in the Bay Area. The only new moms I see around here are in a seemingly different stage in their lives, one that I don't fully relate to. I feel a distance between one another. Do we understand each other? Do we relate more than we think Do you smoke weed, too?
I wonder. It has to be true. Right? Yes, I'm sure it is true. Other moms totally smoke weed.
I've started this website in hopes of bringing like-minded (and not so alike) women together who have a common belief in the colorful communities cannabis will foster. I believe that with compassion, open-mindedness, and willingness to educate one another, women have a profound place in the cannabis movement. This is a movement in which subjection and belittlement has no place. I truly believe feminine power is the answer to achieving a shift in the social perspective and way of life regarding cannabis and leading natural lifestyles.
I recently read about a past event that ran mad fire through my body. It's an eery reminder of the long journey we have ahead of us for true cannabis reform. In January 1989, the highly influential cannabis magazine High Times ran a call-to-action ad from a group named Freedom Fighters asking readers to join its “cannabis protest movement”:
“For three years we’ve been asking our readers to get involved in the cannabis reform movement,” the ad reads. “During that time, we have witnessed the steady erosion of our civil rights. Now Congress has passed a truly reprehensible bill aimed at illegal drug users. Don’t you think it’s about time you stepped out of that cannabis closet you’re hiding in?”
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do think it’s time. Right now.